Pet Blessing

Words can't even begin to describe the ridiculous nature of this one...

 

Thanks to Jovan Mackenzy for the contribution.

How to hug a vampire?

How about, "How to love others because Christ first loved you!"  People who are harder to love are not vampires.  If someone is "sucking the life out of you" then the issue isn't that they are particularly hard to love, it is that you aren't remembering the Gospel and the stink hole of sin that He pulled you from.

If you think rightly about your own sin you will seek to grow in the area of loving others because you grasp at least a small portion of the greatness of the love that Christ has shown you.

This is non-sense. 

p.s. - I realize it is not technically a "church sign" but it qualifies right?

Need a lifeguard?

 

If I had to guess I would surmise that you can expect a watered down Gospel message from their pulpit to match their water joke on the sign.  (See what I did there...) 

Thanks to Travis Ferguson for this one.

Prayer Condition Your Home

Someone sound the gong please...

You think it is hot here?

So, I think that this one is an attempt on an old familiar sign phrase... The saying usually goes, "You think it's hot here!? -- God."

But this one seeks to just put God in the question mode as if God sidles up next to you and says 'Psst... psst... Do you think it is hot here?"  Hoping for your affirmation so that He can justify turning the thermostat down a little. HA!

In reality, it is supposed to get the reader to think on Hell.  Is Hell hot?  Well, Scripture seems to indicate that it is in fact hot.  But heat should not be used as a deterrent.  I don't want anyone to want to avoid Hell because it will be hot... I want people to flee from Hell because they see their sin is what is carrying them there and that Jesus is offering them salvation!

Saving doesn't just happen at Wal-Mart...

Thanks to my good friend Travis for this post.   To reduce the saving message of the Gospel to a Wal-Mart comparison is to cheapen the majesty and awesomeness of what Christ did for sinners on the cross!

This place distributes the bread of life... but only if you're old enough!

OK, so this sign is a bit of an odd duck... it isn't that there is really anything horribly wrong about their marquee message.  It is true that churches are to be the proclaimers of the Gospel and in that you could say, although a bit cliche and cheesy, churches ARE distributors of the bread of life.  Because Christ is that life.

Where this one gets odd is their church slogan that states that they are a church for 50 or better.  I can only assume that by that they mean that their church is there for the 50 years and older crowd.  So if we combine the 2 messages we get the view of this church that they are a distributor of the bread of life... but apparently they are only interested in distributing it to certain age dynamics.  So much for proclaiming the Gospel to all (Mark 16:15).

It also raises the question.  Should we be a culture that is so given to niche churches?  Where is the line between a church that preaches the Gospel and reaches the community they are in vs making customized churches that are about us instead of God?  Discuss.