Pet Blessing

Words can't even begin to describe the ridiculous nature of this one...

 

Thanks to Jovan Mackenzy for the contribution.

How to hug a vampire?

How about, "How to love others because Christ first loved you!"  People who are harder to love are not vampires.  If someone is "sucking the life out of you" then the issue isn't that they are particularly hard to love, it is that you aren't remembering the Gospel and the stink hole of sin that He pulled you from.

If you think rightly about your own sin you will seek to grow in the area of loving others because you grasp at least a small portion of the greatness of the love that Christ has shown you.

This is non-sense. 

p.s. - I realize it is not technically a "church sign" but it qualifies right?